Redneck 12
by Musichowler
Summary: Foreign cow hands, Anasazi Amazons, and voodoo. There WILL be voodoo. And Ranma's linguistics are even worse then usual. Strictly for grins and giggles.
1. Chapter 1

Musichowler steps up to the microphone. Standing sideways to the podium so her pregnant belly is not completely blocking the way, she takes out some three by five cards and reads:

"A/N: Randomness. Complete randomness. I was forced to watch Delta Farce (yes that means what it says and contained Larry the Cable Guy) and then subjected to Jeff Foxworthy stand up comedy, then old western films. All within a horrifically short period of time. My other half of course picked up the accent, and that, mixed with random pregnancy hormones, caused the birth of this...thing. I apologize to the readers for the corruption of what should be, but... I COULDN'T HELP IT!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!! THEY MADE ME DO IT//GASP//CHOKE//WHEEZE//COUGH// Ahem. Sorry 'bout that. Oh no. NO! Ahm pickin' it up! Quick! On wi'the show! Before it gits worse an..." //THUMP// Musichowler disappears from behind the podium as if falling through the floor. Stagehands murmur nervously for a moment before it gets quiet again.

Silence reins.

More silence.

Spurs jingle. A pregnant woman in boots, jeans, a red plaid shirt and a black cowboy hat steps in front of the microphone.

"Ahem. Due to a temp'rary loss o' sanity, Musichowler'll be taking a li'l trip. Clear 'er 'ead, like. She'll prob'lyc ome back...//snicker//if Ah let 'er. Ah mean...when she's bett'r. Yeah, thas it. 'Til then, Ah'm yer host, CountryMusichowler. Pleased ta meetcha. Now, on wi'the show!" Lights dim as CountryMusichowler walks off stage, spurs jingling all the way.

Redneck 1/2

Standard disclaimer: I own the scenario, not the characters. Don't sue, I have stuff, not money.

/thoughts

//sound effects

Rain fell heavily over a small ward in Japan. The sky was grey and the air was cool and sweet with the scent of wet flowers. Lovers huddled under single umbrellas, glad of the excuse to be closer together. Most people went about their business calmly, wetness being part of what they were used to at this time of year.

On the East side of town, at a large, traditional-looking Japanese house, the gate opened in the wall to emit an attractive older girl with long brown hair. It was tied into a side ponytail with a white ribbon, which strangely complimented the plain housedress and apron. Even the umbrella was oddly pretty when she carried it. Retrieving the mail, she walked calmly back into the house before going over each piece. /Lets see. Bill, bill, junk, love letter from Kuno-san, bill.../ Seeing a telegram addressed to her father, she placed it on the tea tray she had prepared and took them both into the living room for him.

"Father, here is your tea, and a telegram has come for you."

"Ah, thank you Kasumi." The man picked up his tea cup and sipped appreciatively. "Delicious, as always." Kasumi smiled and went back into the kitchen. The man was tall, though slouched, and had long black hair and a thick black mustache. He wore a chocolate brown gi that looked like it has seen better days and he had a long, somewhat melancholy face that appeared both stern and gentle.

This impression promptly dissolved as he read the telegram, puzzling out the English carefully. Tears streamed down his face in rivers and his hands shook as he read it again.

"returning from training in America stop bringing ranma stop been punching cows for several months so excuse sons eccentricities stop genma"

Clenching his fists and raising his face to the sky, Soun let the emotions pour through him.(Like this is anything unusual.) /At last! How long I have waited for this day!/ Leaping to his feet, he proceeded to round up his scattered offspring.

Sticking his head into the kitchen, he called, "Kasumi!"

The girl from earlier looked up from the pot on the stove. "Yes, Father?"

In a bedroom upstairs, "Nabiki!"

Said girl was slender, pretty (in a glacial sort of way, inspiring one to look from a distance without getting too close) and had chin length brown hair. She was dressed in a tank top and very short shorts, lying on her bed, reading a magazine. Looking up, cookie in her mouth, she said, "Mmmm?"

Elsewhere in the house, "Akane! Akane? Where is that girl?"

Outside, from the building he did NOT check, was heard, "HeeeYA!" //CRASH!// "Ah, that felt pretty good!" A short girl in a yellow gi, tied with a red belt stood over her newest victim. Her opponent just lay there, which was no surprise since it was the remains of several cinder blocks. Wiping sweat from her forehead, she shook out her long hair and smiled cutely in satisfaction.

//Click //"Huh?"

"There you go again, Akane. Its stuff like this that make the boys think you're **so **wierd!" Standing in the doorway of the dojo (could they be anywhere else) was Nabiki. She had just snapped a picture of Akane breaking bricks, and then decided to needle her sister about her violent hobby.

Akane growled. "So what? Not everyone thinks the world revolves around BOYS, Nabiki!"

Nabiki turned her back, nose in the air and hand on hip. "No? Well I guess this wouldn't interest YOU then." As she walked away, Akane wondered if she could trip her sister.

Back in the living room...

"Fiancé?" The three girls were sitting at the table, staring dubiously at their father.

"Yes, the son of a very good friend of mine. They are coming here from America, where they have been training for many years."

"Ooo! America!" Nabiki leaned forward. America meant money. Money was always a good thing.

"So? What's so great about living in America?" Akane snapped. She was very disturbed by this idea of her fathers. The gleam in his eye was kinda creepy.

"Aren't most of the major schools in either Japan or China? What could they possibly learn there?" Asked Kasumi. "What have they been doing?"

Soun looked down at the telegram in his hand, trying once again to translate the English correctly into Japanese. //...punching cows...// "Um...abusing livestock...apparently?" Soun scratched his head in confusion as his daughters sweatdropped. They were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

"Saotome! Old friend! We have been waiting!" Soun charged toward the front door, Nabiki right behind him with an eager look on her face. Kasumi followed more sedately, mumbling about Ranma's potential age. Akane remained behind. /Boys. How depressing./

Akane was startled from her ruminations by a cry from the front door. Her father and sisters came running back into the living room, turning and staring down the hallway at what followed after.

What followed was one of the most incongruous sights that Akane had ever seen in her life. (Considering how sheltered she was, that is not saying much, but still.) What followed was a HUGE panda. Said panda was also carrying a small person, who was struggling against the large animal, hitting it repeatedly with small fists and kicking the air. The panda finally set the squirming person down, and the Tendos took a moment to stare.

Short, with red hair that hung in a braided pigtail from under a battered black hat. The person was dressed in a damp red plaid shirt and black jeans that didn't fit quite right. They looked too big in the waist and to tight in the hips. On the persons feet were an interesting set of boots, with fringe on the back. They had a worn look to them, as if they were handmade and fairly old. This person looked like they were trying to imitate something out of an old American movie. /Wayne John, or whoever it was.../ thought Akane.

Hesitantly, Soun asked, "You wouldn't be..."

Taking the hat off, the redhead spoke softly, clasping the pigtail nervously, "Ah'm Ranma Saotome. So'ry 'bout thias."

Nabiki leaned forward around her father. "Ooh! He **is **cute!"

Typically, Soun overreacted. Snatching Ranma into an embrace, he shouted "At last you've come! I...um..." He noticed that something did not feel right about the individual he was hugging. Squeezing a couple of times, he shoved Ranma out to arms length and took a closer look at "him". "Uh..."

Under Ranma's flat stare, Nabiki ducked around her father and peered closely at Ranma's face and chest. Reaching out a finger, Nabiki poked at the bulges under the red plaid shirt. /Yup, that's real./ "Um...could ya stop that?" The redhead had a bright pink blush on her face.

Turning to glare accusingly at her father, Nabiki exclaimed, "Ranma's not a boy, he's a girl!" Soun promptly fainted.

Later...

"Do you see a son here, Daddy? Do you?" //squeeze, squeeze//

"Please, Ah wish yew'd stop that." Ranma sounded strained.

"Nock it off Nabiki! A guest is a guest!" Akane had watched as this poor girl had been poked, prodded, ignored and insulted in the last half an hour. She had never once protested except to ask Nabiki not to grab her, and even then she had managed to be reasonably polite. Putting a hand on the girls shoulder, she said, "Let's go to the dojo. I'm Akane. Would you like to be friends?" Ranma gave a tiny smile and nodded.

In the dojo...

"You practice kempo, right?" Akane was really hoping. While oddly dressed, the girl moved very smoothly, and seemed to have excellent balance. She had left her strange boots in the living room, and was padding around barefoot.

"Jest a lit'l." Ranma wondered what she was getting into. This Akane girl had a cute smile, but Ranma had met more then her share of cute barracudas.

"How about we have a little match?" Akane suggested. "Just for fun. I won't hurt you."

"Ah don' no 'bout thias. Are ya sure?"

"Come on!"

"Wall, aaight." Ranma sounded resigned.

They squared off, and the fight ensued. Ranma dodged everything Akane threw at her, not even bothering to block. And the hat. The HAT! It NEVER moved! Even when Ranma would lean at some impossible angle to dodge a punch or kick, the hat stayed firmly on her head. Akane growled under her breath. /What is going on here? Is she reading my moves?/ Her resolve firmed. /Ok, this time, for REAL!/ "HeeYA!"

//CRASH!//

//Yank.// "Huh?" //THUD// As Akane's fist blurred forward, Ranma made the first real move she had made since this started. Jumping up and over Akane, she easily avoided the fist that crashed through the wall. The "huh?" from Akane came when a lasso of rope dropped unexpectedly over her wrist and tugged upwards. She felt the barest brush against her ankle and suddenly found herself flat on her back, one of her hands and both feet tied together! "What the..." Ranma stood over her, both hands in the air and wide grin on her face.

"Yeehaw! That thar was one o' ma fastest times yet!" Akane stared. Ranma blushed and bent to loosen the ropes. "Um, so'ry 'bout that. Used to calf ropin'." Standing with Ranma's help, Akane looked at the strange girl for a moment and burst out laughing. Ranma looked sheepish for moment before joining in.

"Oh, that was really great! I've never met anyone who would end a match that way! Gad, Im **so **glad you're a girl." Ranma sobered abruptly.

"Whatcha mean?"

"Well, it's just that I'd really hate to lose to a boy. Let alone have one tie me up!" Akane turned, and trotted back into the house, not noticing Ranma's growing nervousness. After a few minutes, Ranma followed.

Inside, Ranma was promptly waylaid by Kasumi, who showed her to the guest room. Handing the redhead a towel, Kasumi said, "Ranma, would you like to take a bath? The furo is hot."

"Um, no thanks, ma'am. Ah'm fine."

"You've been exercising haven't you." It was more of a statement then a request.

"Um, yeah..."

"Go wash off the sweat. You'll feel much better."

Like everyone else, Ranma was unable to resist Kasumi. "Yes'm. Thanks."

Sitting in the tub, Ranma pondered. //WhatamAh gonna do now? What'll they thinka me? Damn panda! Oh well. Might as well go out as Ah am.// Standing, Ranma turned toward the furo door, starting to get out. He was startled as the door opened, revealing Akane, standing in the altogether. Staring on both sides, followed by a quiet exit followed. Ranma shivered and blushed furiously. The inevitable scream, running, and snatching of the table to "drown the pervert in the bathtub" followed as per typical Akane. Then...everyone turned at the sound of a throat being cleared.

A black haired boy stood in the doorway, dressed in a dry red plaid shirt and black jeans, cowboy hat in hand, looking both sheepish and embarrassed. "Ah'm Ranma Saotome. So'ry 'bout thias."


	2. Chapter 2

The Tendos stared. Ranma stared back. There was much staring going on. The inevitable questions followed Ranma's revelation. "Is it real", "How did it happen", etc. After reintroducing himself and his son, Genma decided to demonstrate how the curse worked. To do this, Genma grabbed his son and threw him into the koi pond.

"Woooah!" Splash "Th'ells wrong wi you ol'man?!?" The red headed girl hollered at her father. Emerging from the water, she stalked toward the fat bald man, visions of rope, horses and cacti running through her head.

Said father stood on the porch of the Tendo living room, his clenched fist raised to the heavens, tears of "shame" running down his face.

"My only son! You whine like a girl!" Genma didn't notice the glares of the three girls behind him. "Were you not prepared to give your life for the art?!?" Genma scowled down at his son turned daughter.

Said progeny glared back. "Ma life, yes. Ma manhood is another story!" So saying, the little redhead grabbed her father by the front of his gi and threw him into the pond. The giant panda jumped out and started trading blows with the girl.

"Jest had ta go to that ol' ruin. Even tho' ya din't read ner speak any injun!" The panda growfed ineffectually at the girl and defended its expansive gut from the attempted blows.

"So, as I understand it, cold water activates the curse, and hot water changes you back." Soun began excitedly pouring hot water from the kettle.

The panda quickly became a red faced man, blinking in pain. "Well, it don't need ta be quite THAT hot, thanks." Ranma simply dodged the hot stream of liquid.

"Well, your problem isn't so bad!" Soun announced heartily to Ranma. Ranma looked at him uncertainly as the Tendo patriarch slung an arm around her shoulders and turned toward the three girls. "My daughter Kasumi: she's 19. Nabiki, 17, and Akane, 16. Pick the one you want; she'll be your fiancée!" Ranma gaped at the Tendo Patriarch in pure shock. He couldn't possibly...

"Oh he wants Akane!" Kasumi announced.

"Definitely!" Nabiki added her two cents. Both older sisters quickly pushed their youngest sibling forward.

"What?!? Why would I be..." Akane sputtered in protest.

"Because you hate boys." Nabiki said calmly, as if that explained everything. "And you're lucky. Ranma is half girl!"

"Um..." Ranma tried to interject.

"What! Me? Marry that pervert? NEVER!"

"Now wait jest a cotton-pickin' minute here! Who're ya callin' a pervert?"

"YOU! You looked at my body you letch!"

"Hey! You walked in on me!"

"It's different when a girl sees a boy! Besides, you tied me up!"

Silence reined, broken only by the sound of crickets chipping. Both fathers, both older sisters and Ranma blinked audibly and stared at Akane. Nabiki broke the silence.

"Um, sis? Not that I care too much about your, um sex life, but..."

"Whaa?" Akane asked, then mentally reviewed what she had said. "NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVERTS!!! IN THE DOJO!" Ranma covered her face with her hat and shook her head. Staring from the other four increased. "EWWWWWW! Nonononononono! Ending the match! I got hogtied! That's all!"

"Hogtied?" Kasumi asked blankly.

Momentarily distracted, Akane answered. "Its when one front foot and both hind feet are bound together on a calf to make it lay still. Its in calf roping." The tinder was laid.

A glitter in her eye, Nabiki leaned forward and added gasoline. "So, Ranma had you tied up in the dojo flat on your back and unable to move?" Akane blinked. Nabiki smirked. And threw the match."Did you like it?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!ITS NOT LIKE THAT!!!HE SAW ME IN THE NUDE!!! THAT MAKES **HIM** THE PERVERT!!! I WONT MARRY A PERVERT!!!"

Nabiki collapsed on the floor, clutching her ribs and laughing out loud for the first time in longer then she cared to remember. Even Kasumi was desperately clasping her trembling lips behind her hand. She did her best to smother the undignified //snerk// that emerged from time to time. The fathers were talking about how great it was that the "couple" was having a cute spat when Ranma decided she had had enough.

"Ah'm leavin'."

"What? Boy, where d'ya think your goin'?" Genma growled at him.

"Back to 'merica. If Ah can find that kiva agin, maybe Ah can git rid o' this here curse. This ain't no time fer fiances!" Picking up the saddlebags no one had noticed until now, Ranma walked toward the door. Pausing, she turned to Akane. "By the way, Akane. Ah notic'd ya took a purty good lookit me, tew. Ah mean, it ain't no big deal fer ME ta see a nekid girl. Hell, A seen me plenty." Ranma turned away, putting her nose in the air. "An Ah'm better built, tew." Smashing with the table followed.

Genma murmured sagely, "Now that, he had comin'."

A/N: To answer the inevitable question, Genma does not talk like a redneck or cowboy because he didn't hang out with them as much. He only picked up a little of it because, as per the usual, he let Ranma do the work while he sat and watched, or drank, or went wenching, or...I hope Nodoka doesn't find out about that last one. Hehe... Anyway, his laziness was intact during the trip. However, he DID have to do some work because he went on trail drives with Ranma, ostensibly to help the boy stay in shape. However, his usual shiftlessness would not have worked then, because on the trail, if you don't work, you don't eat. Also, cowboys would not have put someone they considered a foreigner in charge of the food, so the chow wagon was (reasonably) safe from Panda depredations.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Akane was awakened by the sharp sound of a bullwhip cracking out in the back yard. It was followed by the bellow of a panda and a splashing noise. Leaping out of bed and going to the window, she saw Ranma and his father, in panda form, sparing in the yard. The panda had apparently just been re-introduced to the koi pond and was glaring at the young boy. She opened the window and stuck her head out for a better look.

"Hey, Pop! Done already? Yer gittin' slow!"

The panda growfed and held up a sign. 'What are you doing using a weapon?!? Haven't I told you' flip 'that a true warrior doesn't rely on such things?'

"Whatever, panda-man. Ah beat yew didn't Ah?"

The panda began to make sobbing noises and snuffled into a large red hanky that it pulled out of nowhere. It held up another sign that read, 'My weak son is resorting to honorless methods of fighting! Oh the shame!'

Ranma's temper flashed to anger and he charged the bear. "Who're ya calling weak an' honorless, ya fat blob o' fur?!?" The panda faked weeping until Ranma got within range. It then promptly leapt out of the pond, smacking Ranma on the top of his head with the sign, causing Ranma to overbalance and fall into the pond. A damp redhead surfaced, spouting water.

"Th'ell didja do that for!"

The panda grinned from its spot by the back porch. 'Always be on yer guard, BOY!' /And that's for getting my rump with that damn whip!/ Then he turned and went into the house.

Grumbling, Ranma climbed out of the water and wrung out her shirt. /Maybe Ah should change ma cloths while Ah'm here. Denim just don' dry fast enough./ Going inside, she accepted the kettle of hot water offered by Kasumi. "Thanks, Ms. Kasumi. ''ppreciate it."

"You're quite welcome Ranma. If you want to go change, breakfast is almost ready." Ranma nodded and went to do so. After breakfast, and an second battle with his father-a verbal one this time-Ranma and Akane headed off for school, she in her uniform and he in his jeans, plaid top and soft skin boots. By some strange twist of fate, they avoided the ladle lady completely and Ranma made it to school as a boy without having to stop at Tofu's clinic.

Upon arriving at the school gate, Ranma watched from the top of the wall as Akane plowed through her daily attackers. He grinned, impressed with how fast she was able to deal with the large group. After she was done, he hopped down next to her.

"Nun too shabby. That were done right quick. They'd be kinda puny outside o'a group tho'." Akane grimaced and nodded reluctant agreement. Suddenly she reached out and caught the red and green blur that streaked between them. The rose suffered only the loss of a couple of petals. /Kuno. Kuso!/

Dressed in his habitual hakama and gi top, the arrogant upperclassman stepped out from behind his favorite tree, preparing to do battle in heroic silliness for a prize he never had a chance of winning. Ranma looked him up and down, and raised an eyebrow as Akane snarled in preparation.

"Though she be but little, she be fierce! Truly, such a boorish lot. They thought to do battle with the fierce tigress of Furinkan High. Mayhap they are fools, or unlearned. Perhaps both. Fair maiden, wilt thou joust with one such as I?" He pointed his boken at her face as he asked, pompas-ass ki rolling off him in waves.

Growling, Akane prepared to step forward and smash the annoying boy out of her way when Ranma looked her way.

"Ya shore are pop'lar 'roun' here. This kinda thing normal?" This had the unfortunate side effect of getting the tall boys attention. Unfortunate for Kuno, though he did not realize this.

"You! Knave! Who are you to stand so near the fierce tigress Akane Tendo?"

"Wall, Ah'm..."

"Nay, it is proper to give ones own name first! Mine I shall give! Tatewaki Kuno, age 17. Friend and foe alike call me, THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH!!!" He raised his boken dramatically as lightning flashed and thunder rumbled in the distance. Ranma looked quizzically at the sky. There were no clouds. /What in tarnation?/

In the bushes beside Kuno, his ninja, Sasuke, quickly and quietly laid down the large piece of sheet aluminum he had shaken for the thunder and gathered up the spot light equipment for the lightning. He hoped his master wouldn't get too dramatic. Sometimes it was hard to keep up.

"Now! Who art thou, bore?"

Ranma stood calmly looking at him. Crossing his arms over his chest, he said "Ah'm Ranma Saotome, 'eir ta tha Saotome school o' Anythin' Goes martial arts. Pops an' me're stayin' at the Tendos."

"What! Hounding Akane! I shall not allow it!" Kuno swung at Ranma with his boken, intending to maim and frighten. He was not expecting the lasso that snagged his boken and wrenched it from his fingers. Ranma caught it easily and stood back.

"Whoa thar. Who said anythin' 'bout houndin'? We're jest stayin' thar." Akane grimaced as she realized how wrongly Kuno would take that.

"Filthy would-be gaijin in a Samurai household! It shall not be born!" Kuno's speech got more archaic the angrier he became. "Unhand thou my blade, that I may bathe it in thy blood, western freak! I shall take thy head, and scour the taint of thy existence from the Tendo household with the purity of mine own august presence!"

Unbeknownst to the arrogant boy, this was one of several wrong things to say. "But one could not expect a creature such as thou to understand the honor of such a challenge! Thou wallowest in the muck of that cowardly nation! Thy honor is as tattered and worn as that scrap of filth atop thy head!" This was another very wrong thing to say.

Ranma grinned in a fashion that had Akane nervously backing away from him. There seemed to be too many teeth. His eyes had taken on an icy blue glitter that looked all the more dangerous for the smile. Calmly unlooping his lasso from the boken, he coiled it up again and grasped it in his left hand. Taking the boken in his right, he held it up for Kuno to see, and then threw it like a dart. The innocent piece of varnished oak landed point first between Kunos feet, and proceeded to sink into the ground for half its length. Before Kuno could reach down to grab it however, Ranma spoke, his voice as smooth and deadly as a rattlesnake.

"Ah'm gonna kick yer ass so hard, yer gonna need ta take yer pants off ta blow yer nose."

Kunos frown deepened as he bent and tugged at the boken. "What rubbish is this? Sorcery! Unhand my blade, miscreant!"

"Its where Ah left it. Draw your piece, varmint, an' lets git on withit."

Kuno heaved and struggled, getting redder in the face with each passing moment. "Ah can help, ifn ya need it," Ranma offered with complete insincerity. Finally pulling the boken out of the earth. Kuno shook it off and went to dramatically point it at Ranma when...Ranma.._.moved_.

//WHACK!// POW!// "Ouch!" //WHAM// "Ite!" //SOCK //"NO! Not there!" //MANGLE// "MOMMYYYYY!" //CRUNCH // "THAT DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY!" //ABUSE// "HEEEEEEELPPPP!!!"

Ranma proceeded to inflict grievous bodily harm(tm) upon the Furinkan idiot. Akane couldn't even see him move, just fists, feet, lasso and boken in a cloud of dust three feet in front of her.

//THUD// Kuno landed hard face down, hog tied backwards with many, many bruises. Both eyes blackened and swollen shut, teeth missing, hair half gone and boken shoved somewhere uncomfortable. (Not THERE you perverts! I don't write those kinds of fics!) As Akane looked closer, she realized that Kunos hands and feet were tied not only to each other, but to the boken shoved under the mess of limbs. It was placed so the curve of the blade followed the curve of Kunos back, making it very difficult and painful to try and get out of.

Ranma stood back and dusted off his hands. "That takes care o' the jerk. Shall we git ta class?" Akane nodded dumbly, wondering what on earth the engagement had gotten her into.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After school, while walking the Tendo sisters home, Ranma was surprised by Nabiki asking him about America.

Now, before we go into this, it is important to understand where this is coming from. (Besides my alleged mind.) The Tendo sisters, while they will never admit it, are Western Movie Otaku. Each has different things they obsess over.

For Akane, it was the pretty horses and riding free. For Nabiki, its the fancy jewelry and cloths the women in the bars wore. (What you thought it was something more refined? Please. Nabiki is interested in _money_. Where it comes from and how to get it. As far as she had been able to tell, it came from digging for gold-which was much too dirty-and gambling. Since she already ran an ammeter racketeering ring, she was interested in the gambling men who have pretty girls in expensive cloths bring them drinks and flirting with them.) With Kasumi, it was the married women. They always seemed to have things perfect in the house, had clean cloths and men who loved them. (Please note that Kasumi had a unique set of rose colored glasses.) All this being said, they wanted to know more about America, and since Ranma had lived there, who better to ask?

"What was it like? Was it ritzy, like in the movies? Pretty hotels and dance halls?" Nabiki's eyes shone with her own imagined finery.

"Wall, I don't recall no dance hall girls, or hotel rooms with rugs. We worked, hot, tired, nasty most o' the time. Mosta the Injun tribes were cool tho'. Hearts in the right place."

Nabiki looked disappointed for a moment, then said, "Ranma, why do you speak the way you do? Is that really how they speak over there?"

Ranma paused, then said, "Wall, I spent most o'ma time in the west an' south. See, we have words in the south that you don't HAVE in other parts o'the country. We 'ave words like, 'yontoo'." Nabiki blinked. "It gits used like 'We goin' ta the mall, yontoo?' Also got words like 'aiight'. Sounds like 'hey, jaeat yet? Naw, djoo? Yontoo? Aiight." (A/N: read it phonetically. It helps.)

"Sounds like some gaijin stand up comedian!" Akane snorted.

"Oh, it was. Jist, he was bein' serious. Mr. Foxworthy rilly unerstan's the south."

The girls nodded, not really understanding at all.


	4. Chapter 4

Time passed. The Saotomes had been living with the Tendos for almost two weeks. It was late at night, and very rainy. For once, Ranma was asleep in his boy form, and the panda was, well, a panda.

A shadowy figure stood over Ranma, glaring at the sleeping boy. "Ranma get up." Ranma slept on. "Get up! Let's fight!" A soft snore. "Dammit, wake up!" The shadow slammed a punch at Ranma's head. He slept through it, turning over in his sleep and dodging. This happened three times before the figure lost its temper, grabbed the sleeping martial arts cowboy and threw him through the window and into the rain splattered pond.

Ranma woke up sputtering, as trying to breath cold water was not conducive to long life and health. "What th'ell?" Ryoga jumped from the window and landed close by. "Ryoga? 'hat time izit? 'ats wrong wi'ya thatcha haveta wake me up?"

"Does vengeance know night or day?!? Can I rest when my enemy sleeps so close? Die, Ranma!" He charged.

Upstairs, inside the house, Akane was woken by a crash. She grabbed her shainai and was heading down the stairs to deal with the intruder when she met up with Kasumi. They crept down together. Upon seeing the figure's pack, Kasumi stopped Akane from engaging in battle with the bamboo sword and handed her a barbell. Akane took it, smiled, and threw it at the figure in the yard. It bounced off of his head, knocking the figures umbrella askew. The person took off over the dojo wall as fast as someone going really really fast.

Ranma came back inside for a moment and explained to the girls what happened. Kasumi put a kettle on and went back to bed. After telling Akane he was going to look for Ryoga, Ranma headed back out. It only took a few minutes for her to find Ryogas pack and clothing. /So 'e did take th' plunge. Poor slob./ She picked up his things and brought along the animal she found that she thought was Ryoga.

Back at the house it was discovered that the animal was actually a dog named Bess, who belonged to a neighbor and obligingly provided the distant dog bark that is so necessary to standoffs, threatening scenes or pan outs. Akane discovered a piglet in her room and adopted it. Ranma discovered who the piglet really was, fought with it and was branded a bully by Akane, who thought it was rather nasty of him to be so mean to a poor, defenseless animal.

Over the next three days, Ranma made several drastically unsuccessful attempts to separate the pig from Akane, most often resulting in a need for the first aid kit. So finally, realizing he would be unable to do anything physical to the Hibiki piglet while Akane was around, Ranma started engaging in psychological warfare.

It began on a lovely morning, the combined Saotome-Tendo group sitting around the table, eating the delicious meal that Kasumi had prepared. Kasumi was in the kitchen preparing tea and making sure everything was perfect. Like always. Savoring the food, Ranma glared at Ryoga, who was snuggled against Akane's bosum as she fed him small bits from her plate. /Damn pig. This jest ain't right. God, this food's good. Ah wonder.../

"Hey Pop."

"Yeah, son?"

"Remember that dinner Cookie made that one night on the trail? The one where the biskits were chewable?"

Genma's eyes grew misty as he thought back. "Yeah. Everything was great that night. Even the coffee was good."

"What meat was that, anyway?"

"Bacon. Farm raised bacon." Genma found himself drooling slightly and swallowed before continuing. "Why do you ask son?" The piglet had stopped eating and was staring at Ranma in horror.

Ranma chewed thoughtfully before replying, his eyes on said piglet. "Wall, Ah was thinkin' o' doing somethin' fer Kasumi. She works so hard 'round here, an' alwa's has th' greatest food. Thinkin' maybe we can help and give 'er a nite off. We could try an' remake that food. We're both fairly decent at cookin', 'slong as we got the makin's."

Genma mulled this over as he chewed. (In response to the obvious question of why he and Ranma aren't eating like human vacuums, they were trail hands in the American west. Most of the time, food is the ONLY nice thing about trail work, except for the end. Taking your time-if you can-and savoring it, was something they had both learned to do.) "Where would we get fresh bacon though, son? Its not something really sold here."

"Unnn. Have ta look 'round. Ifn we do tho', should invite Ryoga. He likes good food." Ranma continued to gaze intently at the piglet in Akane's lap, who was looking more then a little white. Genma was also looking carefully at the little animal. Akane was torn between being angry that Ranma seemed to be suggesting they eat her pet and being thoughtful over the idea of giving Kasumi a night off. She did work awfully hard...

She was startled out of her thoughts as the small porcine human wriggled out of her lap and bolted for the door. "P-chan! Come back!" she lunged after him but he had vanished into the shrubs by the door, disappearing from sight.

Whirling around, she stomped back into the dining room, glaring at Ranma, who had quickly hidden a smirk. "This is all your fault, Ranma! If you hadn't been talking about bacon, my poor little P-chan wouldn't have gotten so scared he had to run!" She advanced on him, mallet raised high. For once, Ranma agreed with her. This one WAS his fault. However, self preservation jump started his mouth.

"Tha's silly, Akane. Only way the pig'd know what we were discussin' was by bein' a human. Only way he could do that was ta be cursed, an even Ryoga wouldn't do somethin's low as pose as a pet." Akane paused, seeing the logic for once. Below the porch, where he was hiding, the Hibiki piglet blushed in shame. Ranma was defending him. He hid his eyes behind a trotter in self-loathing and continued listening. The next topic of discussion made him turn grey with horror.

"'Sides, Ah wanna chat with ya about care o' the pig. 'es young, but ya may wanna git 'im fixed. As a boy piglet gits bigger, 'e starts markin' 'is terr'tory. That gits mighty high after a bit." Akane furrowed her brow, trying to figure out what Ranma meant. Marking? Territory? P-chan was a pig yes, and a boy, but she could limit how much he ate to keep him from getting bigger...(The author will interject that Akane is a city girl and knows nothing about livestock) Her thoughts were interrupted by Nabiki.

"He means that as P-chan gets older, he may start peeing in the house, like a tomcat. So we should get him fixed. Remember how long it took to get the smell out of the laundry room from Motaro?" Nabiki caught Akane's eyes with hers and motioned towards Kasumi. Said sister was sitting at the head of the table, head bowed and with a white knuckled grip on her teacup. Akane's eyes widened as she remembered that incident. It was the last time she had been able to keep a pet inside other then fish. Motaro, her beloved pet kitty had gone to live with a family from Shibuya. She remembered Kasumi on her knees in the laundry room, tears running down her face as she had scrubbed until her hands were raw. Akane flushed dark red with shame as she realized how little her sister wanted the piglet in the house.

"Um, maybe I could keep him outside? Would that help?" she asked in a small voice. Kasumi looked up, small lines of strain fading around her eyes as she looked at her little sister.

"Yes Akane, that would be a very big help." Akane smiled as she realized she would not have to give up her pet, but sighed at the thought of once again not having something to cuddle at night. Ranma spoke up.

"Akane, Ah no ya like ta cuddle withim, an' Ah-Ah don' wanna take that away from ya."

Akane blinked. "You don't?"

P-chan blinked. /He doesn't?/

"So uh, Ah got ya a li'l present." Ranma blushed as he held out a round package wrapped in bright paper. It was slightly squashed looking, but had a bow adorning the top.

"That-that's so nice of you Ranma. Thank you." Akane took the package and began to unwrap it. Ryoga seethed under the porch. /How dare you, Ranma! To try and take advantage of Akane in such a way! To replace me! I WILL have my revenge! And keep my family jewels intact!/

Ranma blushed more and looked down. "It wuz nothin'. Jist, Ah know ya like the pig, but its a bad idea ta keep it in th' house, so..." he twiddled his fingers.

Upon unwrapping the package, Akane stared for a second and then began to laugh. Beneath the paper, with a red bandana tied around its neck, was a stuffed grey piglet, almost exactly the same size as her P-chan. Clutching it to her chest, she rocked back and forth as the laughter and tears poured forth.

Ranma grinned at her laughter, but looked concerned at the tears. "Um, did Ah do somethin' wrong?" He sounded so contrite that Akane laughed even louder.

"Oh, my!" said Kasumi.

"No Ranma, not at all. Its just funny is all." She sniffled and wiped a few tears away. "The last person to give me a stuffed animal was...my Mom. It was burned with...with her body and I haven't had one since." She sniffled again and smiled. "I really like it. Thanks." Ranma breathed a quiet sigh and relaxed.

"Oh, my!" said Kasumi.

That was when the two of them noticed the complete silence from the other side of the table. Turning, they were both bowled over by the explosion of noise. Confetti, party favors and fathers dancing created quite a mess on the far side of the table. Camera flashes alerted them to the fact that Nabiki had gotten more grist for the rumor mill. Singing permeated the room while the man and the panda danced, waving victory fans and chanting "The schools are gonna join, the schools are gonna join!" Well, Soun was chanting, the panda just growfed the rhythm and waved a sign.

"Oh, my!" said Kasumi.

Ranma and Akane looked at each other. Then back at the fathers. Then at each other. Nodding to the other, they both stood and proceeded to inflict grievous bodily harm(TM) upon their respective parents. Cheers became cries of pain and suffering that this author refuses to explain further as it would change the rating from light to dark. After inflicting said damage, they looked at each other again, nodded and went off in separate directions to think over what had happened. Nabiki went off to get her film developed and estimate profits. Kasumi looked around at the mess and sighed.

"Oh...dear!" said Kasumi.

A few days later, Ranma was working in the kitchen on the American style dinner he was preparing. Genma was playing go with Soun. /Les'see. BBQ ribs, corn on the cob, salad, biskits, beans aaaaaaand...crap! What about the coffee?/ Ranma was aware of a rather sad shortcoming of his own. He couldn't make coffee worth a plug nickel. Neither could his father. He had the grounds, but what to do? His dubious salvation poked her head into the kitchen.

"That smells really good Ranma. What are you making?" Akane had smelled the food from her room and came down to find out what it was.

"BBQ spare ribs." Ranma sounded distracted. /WhatmAh gonna do?/

"Everything ok?"

"Wall, Ah kin make ev'rythin' here, but the coffee. Ah cant make coffee worth nothin'. Its...real bad. Ma coffee al'ays turns out weak." Ranma looked decidedly embarrassed by this admission. Akane hesitated. She had never cooked for Ranma, but was well aware of the reputation her cooking carried.

"Do...do you want some help?" she asked hesitantly, half hoping, half afraid. He looked at her a moment, then nodded slowly, a smile forming.

"Ah'd like that." Akane answered his shy smile with one of her own. "Ah got most ev'rythin' done, but kin ya make th' coffee?"

"You bet, Ranma. You set the table and Ill get it taken care of." Ranma nodded and started to do just that.

They brought out the food and called the family to dinner. Nabiki, Soun and Kasumi came eagerly until they saw Akane come out of the kitchen holding a pot. Soun almost fainted right there, and Nabiki started frantically trying to think of an excuse.

"Oh gosh, look at the time, I have a meeting to go to!" She started toward the door only to be stopped by the last person she expected.

"Your meeting is tomorrow Nabiki. You moved it last week. Come sit down please." Nabiki stared at Kasumi in horror, wondering what horrid race of aliens had abducted her sister.

"Ah think ya all'll like it. Ah tasted ev'rythin'." Ranma set down the last pot of beans and took his seat.

"But...but...what about Akane?" Nabiki trembled as she sat down. Swallowing with difficulty, she asked, "What did she...make?" Akane glared at Nabiki.

"Oh, Ah cooked. Akane made th' coffee." Ranma was at a total loss about what to make of Nabiki and Souns reactions. Kasumi was a little pale, but sitting primly in her place. The other two were acting as if they were on death row. Upon his statement however, they both relaxed considerably and started serving themselves.

After a quick "Itadakimasu!" everyone started eating. True to form, Ranma and Genma ate more then anyone else, but ALL the Tendos ate much more then they normally would have. For a long time, the only conversation was "pass this" or "pass that". Finally, the ribs, corn and all the rest had been consumed, and everyone was replete, patting overfull bellies and contemplating how they would waddle on up to bed as soon as they were able to move. Even Kasumi sat back in total satisfaction, emitting a soft burp and blushing a deep pink when everyone chuckled. The blush quickly turned to laughter as one by one, everyone else burped as well.

Ranma stood and started clearing the table, and Akane got up to help. After the dishes were cleared, Ranma asked "Who's for dessert?" To their immense surprise, each and every one of them wanted something sweet after that. Ranma grinned. "'k. Gimme and Akane a sec." Pulling the dark haired girl into the kitchen, he handed her plates and spoons, then balanced a platter on his head and carefully picked up the coffee pot.

Everyone's eyes widened as Ranma came into the dining area, bearing a gigantic chocolate cake. It was smothered in deep chocolate icing and had raspberry filling oozing from under the frosting. Ranma set it and the coffee down and proceeded to serve everyone cake and coffee.

Soun, Nabiki and Kasumi looked nervously at the cups, half expecting the thick black fluid to rise up out of them and demand a piece of cake, or at least dancing space. The three of them stared as Ranma and Genma both alternated large bites of cake with slurps of coffee. Finally, Nabiki couldn't stand it any longer. "How can you be drinking that!?!" she demanded to know. Ranma looked at her questioningly over the rim of the cup.

"Whatcha mean, Nabs?"

"500 yen. NO, never mind that! I mean, Akane made it! Her cooking is downright dangerous! Its possible to sell her cooking to the military for research on biological weaponry! Her miso soup is dehydrated and used as snail bait! There's no way she could have made anything edible!" Nabiki's worldview was being shaken, badly. Akane wondered if the pleasure of malleting her sister would be out weighed by the cost of doing so.

Ranma looked at Nabiki calmly for a moment, then set his cup down. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a large, shiny horse shoe. Calmly, he lifted the lid on the pot of coffee and tossed it inside. Nodding in response to what he saw, he sat back down. Nabiki stood it for about three seconds before reaching forward and looking in herself. The iron horseshoe stood upright in the pot, bouncing slightly in the dark liquid. Nabiki swallowed hard. "Um..."

"Back in 'merica, ya boil coffee, then toss a horseshoe in. 'f it stands up straight, coffees ready. It tastes mighty fine an' goes good with the chocolate."

Nabiki hesitantly lifted the cup to her lips and smelled the thick aroma of burned beans boiled in water for way too long. Nervously, she tilted the thick substance towards her mouth, and took a cautious sip. /Hmm. Strong. **_Really_** strong, but actually...drinkable!/ she thought in surprise. The taste-and effects-hit fully as she swallowed. Dark, bitter, slightly oily and raging with stimulants. Nabiki had just been introduced to the most horrendous caffeine rush she would ever experience.

"Wowthatssocoolgimmemore" Slurp "canwemarketthisstuffIgotta" Slurp "findamarket..." Nabiki kept sipping, her voice rising in pitch with each one. Ranma and Genma looked mildly concerned, realizing that a bad caffeine crash was coming.

"Worlddominationhacouldruletheuniverse" Slurp "withthisRanmacanwemakethisagain..." Nabiki suddenly stopped, shuddered and face planted into the table. She didn't move. Ranma rolled his eyes.

"She just don' know when ta quit. We better dose her w/aspirin an' put 'er ta bed." Ranma advised.

"Thatsmysister!" A chipmonkified Kasumi snapped. Then, in shock, she covered her mouth. "Ohmy. ImsosorryRanmaIdontknowwhatscomeovermeIthinkIneedtogotobedtoo.." //Thud// Kasumi joined her sister in shock-induced slumber. Upon seeing this, Soun melted into a puddle of horrified father. Genma just shook his head at his friend and glanced at his son.

"Yup. Them too." Ranma looked at Akane who was staring at the rest of her family, in caffeine induced comas on the table. Akane turned blurrily to Ranma and said softly, "goodcoffeeRanmanightnight" and collapsed.

Ranma and Genma looked at each other again and nodded, starting to get up. They would have to put everyone to bed. Looking at the cake and coffee, they sat back down. When they were finished. There was cake and coffee to be had, after all.

A/N: Credits so I don't get in trouble: Garth Brooks, The Cowboy Song.

Jeff Foxworthy, Words in the South.

So, should I keep it? Kill it? Burry myself in an anthill and wait for the end? I'm not sure anymore. Thanks to Wilfite for the proofing.

Musichowler


	5. Chapter 5

Well, I thought the last chapter was going to be the end. Shows what I know, don't it? Grins and giggles abound, and I was able to fix the spelling mistakes (I think). Thanks for the encouraging reviews from everyone. I really appreciate it. FYI, I'm probably going to speed up the story and skip some things, because I really don't want to be retelling the entire story from a Redneck perspective.

//thoughts

\sound effects

'signs

When the Tendos woke the following morning, it was a lot like the movie Dawn of the Dead. Dragging themselves forth from their respective "graves", they stumbled down the stairs looking for the cure for their pain.

Kasumi was the first to "rise" and was VERY grateful for this fact. Taking a look at herself in the mirror, she was shocked to see her hair standing out from her head like she had been electrocuted. Her eyes were bloodshot in her pasty face, and she looked decidedly green around the gills.

Shambling down the stairs and into the bathroom, she thanked the kami that there was no one up to see her. Knowing she would feel better after a bath, she hurried through her wash and climbed in. Relaxing into the hot water, she leaned back and closed her eyes. She was up early enough that she could afford a bit longer soak this morning. Just a little longer...

Akane and Nabiki struggled back to consciousness at about the same time. The first thought that went through both their heads was //What the hell happened?// The second was the absolute need for a bath. Hearing the other in the bedroom adjacent, they both rose and weakly stumbled toward their bedroom doors, hoping to beat the other to the furo. They met in the hallway.

Upon seeing the other, they had to stop and stare. //Did my sister die last night? Did I?// was the thought that went through both their heads. Looking each other up and down, they took in the others pale, grayish-white features, stringy, matted looking hair, and bloodshot eyes. Both were hunched over as if in pain, and were walking like they were old, old women. Then, their eyes met, and unexpectedly, they both gave a sickly grin. This turned to chuckles which were quickly muted to stem the pain caused by noise.

Jerking her head toward the stairs, Nabiki raised an eyebrow at Akane. //Race ya to the furo?// she seemed to say. Akane smirked herself and nodded slowly. Turning toward the stairs as one, they both took off with all the speed of a couple of Galapagos Tortoises.

Upon reaching the head of the stairs, they both grabbed the other and the railing to prevent their opponent from throwing themselves down the stairs in an attempt to win by a large margin. Continuing to restrain one other from getting ahead of themselves, they made it to the furo door with only a couple of barked shins and dizziness. Looking at the furo door, they both tried to figure out how the door worked. Pushing didn't do it, neither did pulling. Akane decided she just wasn't up to breaking it. Finally, as one they reached out, grasped the knob and turned it. With a /click/, the door opened and they squeezed together into the changing room.

Once inside, they saw Kasumi's cloths and looked at each other, back to the door inside, then at each other again. As one, they decided 'Oh, what the hell'. Nabiki started fumbling with the buttons on her PJ top while Akane tried to figure out how she had gotten lost in a shirt. After about 10 minutes of fumbling, they were both ready to take on the bathing room.

Opening the door, they stepped inside to find Kasumi, sound asleep, and snoring softly in the furo. Giggling, they gently woke her, washed up and joined her for a nice long soak. This was of course after the tripping over the stools, the dropping of the soap and the fight to subdue the water hose. Kasumi left after Akane throttled it into submission.

Genma woke Ranma in the usual fashion. In other words, he threw him out the window-the second story window. Due to long practice, Ranma awoke while in-flight, righted himself and landed on a rock by the pond. Taking his lasso out of stuff-space, he coiled it and threw the loop at his descending father.

Genma, who had a leg outstretched in a jump kick, was caught by surprise as the loop settled gently around his ankle, then proceeded to increase his descent speed by a factor of five. As Ranma was on the far side of the pond, this made the home of the unfortunate koi the target of the elder Saotome. Seeing this, said elder drew his legs and arms into his body, and proceeded with his special Genma Saotome special water attack: "Big Daddy Cannonball!"

With an enormous splash, the bald martial artist plunged into the pond, knocking water all over the yard, specifically trying to get his son. Said boy had jumped upwards however, and was consequently standing on the wall when the splash was made. As the panda looked around, hoping to see an angry redhead, he was instead surprised to find his son, coiling his lasso from atop the wall and whistling innocently.

With a disappointed growf, the panda hopped out of the water and charged Ranma, who flipped over the pandas head, kicking him in passing.

"C'mon Pop, wha's th' matter?" He grinned. "Ol' age creepin' up on ya? Yer gittin' slow!" The panda snarled and threw a washtub, which of course had just enough water to soak Ranma to the skin, activating the change. "Th' 'ell didja do that fer?!?" The diminutive redhead yelled at her pandafied parent. Said panda held up a sign: 'You're getting sloppy Ranma! How can you' –flip- 'expect to beat me if you refuse to concentrate!' The girl snarled and pulled a bull whip out of stuff space. The panda paled. "Slow, huh? Ah'll show ya slow!" She proceeded to chase the panda around the yard, the whip snapping and cracking at his heals and occasionally catching him on his short tailed rump.

After about five circuits of the yard, Ranma put on a burst of speed, and switched from whip to lasso. Lashing out with it, she caught the panda by a hind foot, and digging her heals in, caused him to trip and fall. She was on him in an instant, whisking three of his paws into the air and binding them together tightly.

Standing away from her bound up father, she raised her hands in the air in triumph. "Yeehaw! Ranma Saotome wins agin! Face it pops, ya just can't beat me!" The panda replied by swinging the remaining paw at his son turned daughter, catching her behind the ankle and knocking her backward into the pond. "Whooah!" \SPLASH\ The redhead surfaced and spouted water. "Wha' was THAT for? Ah'm already a girl, dammit!" The panda held up a sign in its free paw. 'Always be on your guard, boy!'

The redhead grumbled as she climbed out of the water, and was going to continue the fight when Kasumi called them to breakfast. They took the kettle that she offered them, thanked her and then sat down at the table with the other girls. Soun had yet to put in an appearance, so Genma went to go get him. As Genma helped the Tendo patriarch to the table, Ranma took a closer look at the girls. Looking at them, Ranma wondered what was wrong. "Um, ya'll ok? 'Kane? Ya look a li'l pale."

This was rather an understatement. The three Tendo sisters had emerged from the bath looking much less dead, but not feeling all that great. Kasumi had decided to order breakfast from an American Cafe so she didn't have to cook and had just made tea. Nabiki was sitting in her place, her head cradled in her hands and waited for the room to stop spinning. Akane had sat down in her place and proceeded to melt into a quivering pile of girl with what were supposed to be arms folded on the table. Her head rested atop the pile.

"I'm never drinking coffee again…" came the mumble from the pile that was Akane. "…should be a controlled substance." She glared half heartedly out from under her arm at Ranma. "Did you drug us or something?"

Ranma looked decidedly embarrassed. "No, Ah didn't. When Ah let ya make the coffee, Ah fergot ta tell ya 'bout the horseshoe. Ah think ya made it a bit too strong." Nabiki raised her eyes enough to glare at him momentarily before collapsing back into the shelter of her hands. Grousing from between her fingers, she said,

"Where on earth did you learn to drink that stuff, Saotome? Why aren't you affected like us?" Ranma blinked in surprise and then looked thoughtful.

"Wall, spent quite a bit o' time in th' four corners area. Some really great Injun tribes there. Got intr'duced ta the stuff there, an' Ah like it."

Nabiki looked at him through her fingers and wondered how much info she could get out of him. Mr. Saotome had been quite reticent on where they had gone and how they had learned what they had. Also, acquiring the curse had been glossed over as a "training accident" by Genma, and Ranma had been too busy trying to thump his father to be more forthcoming. She decided to pump Ranma at school. Maybe they could just skip. 'In fact', she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and speed dialed one of her cohorts. "I'm not coming in today," she glanced at Akane, who was still in a pile. "Neither are Akane or Ranma. Shift the odds on the Kuno and Ryoga fights accordingly and let me know if anything unusual comes up. Yes, yes, ok. Bye." There, all taken care of.

After breakfast, Ranma went out to the dojo and started doing kata with the lasso and whip, changing them periodically. Akane wandered out to watch, and Nabiki followed. The fathers played shogi and drank their tea. Kasumi looked around and went back to bed.

AN: Ok, I know its short. Real life is intruding again, so I posted this real quick so people could have some down home goodness. Sorry its been a while. Enjoy this bite, and Ill try to get something more substantial together soon. Thanks again to all the reviewers, and as always, C&C welcome.

Musichowler


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